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Orgo-Life the new way to the future Advertising by AdpathwayAllison Holker Opens up About Late Husband Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss' Mental Health
Allison Holker is sharing a dark part of Stephen “tWitch” Boss’ history.
More than two years after the death of husband, the So You Think You Can Dance alum is opening up about the demons Stephen had been privately fighting, the depth of some she only discovered while going through his belongings and journal entries.
And it was in the latter that Stephen included allusions to having been sexually abused by a male figure during his childhood, something Allison had not known prior to his December 2022 suicide.
"He was wrestling with a lot inside himself, and he was trying to self-medicate and cope with all those feelings because he didn't want to put it on anyone because he loved everyone so much," she told People in an interview published Jan. 7. "He didn't want other people to take on his pain."
She added, “It was really hard to put all the pieces together. Through certain discussions, even with friends and things that have been said, reading through his journals ... you realize he went through a lot as a child and never faced it.”
While the 36-year-old admitted to experiencing feelings of betrayal after some of the discoveries—which included finding shoeboxes in Stephen’s closet containing a “cornucopia” of drugs—she also spoke to how her mindset changed over time.
"Reading Stephen's journals, and even going back into the books he had read and the things that he was highlighting and lining, really gave me a better perspective of where he was in life and the type of things he was struggling with," she explained. "It did have me feel a lot of empathy towards him and sadness for all the pain that he was holding."
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It also put into perspective how much her husband of 9 years—with whom Allison shared kids Weslie, 16, Maddox, 8, and Zaia, 5—had been trying to battle on his own.
“It's hard to think that he never opened up to someone and wanted to face it, to get through on the other side,” she added. “I really hope people dealing with the same thing will help themselves out of the shadows and [know] you're going to be okay."
In looking back, Allison has also come to realize how much Stephen struggled with navigating his public persona—which included a major role on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and time as a judge for So You Think You Can Dance—amid his personal struggles.
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“When I would think about my husband at the time, I would think, 'Oh, I love that tWitch is such a great performer, but then when he comes home he feels safe enough to be Stephen,'" she said. "I was with him for so long, and that's how he's been the entire relationship. I was like, 'It's a beautiful thing that he can be both.'"
But now, Allison feels his "two very different personalities” were ultimately locked in some sort of battle. "What if he felt safe being this one individual that has different kind of energies," she reflected. "You don't have to be a completely different person and put them aside from each other."
And Allison isn’t the only celebrity to stress the importance of mental health. For more, keep reading.
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Candace Cameron Bure
The Full House alum reflected on her mental health journey and navigating her battle with depression.
"It's very difficult to speak out about it, even to your most trusted people," she shared on her Candace Cameron Bure Podcast. "At least for me, I feel like I should be strong enough to overcome that and then it feels so weak."
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Billie Eilish
The Grammy winner has been very open about how she protects her energy, such as ignoring haters on social media, while also sharing her advice for those who may need help.
"When people ask me what I'd say to somebody looking for advice on mental health, the only thing I can say is patience," she told Vogue. "I had patience with myself. I didn't take that last step. I waited. Things fade."
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Katy Perry
While everyone was trying to make the best of socially distancing to slow the coronavirus pandemic, the "Firework" artist got real about how situations like this can also be extremely stressful.
"Sometimes I don't know what's worse trying to avoid the virus or the waves of depression that come with this new norm," she shared on Twitter. Katy talked about how she manages those waves, writing, "There is not really anywhere to go besides my car. So I go to my car a lot. That is my safe space."
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Kendall Jenner
The model, who has teamed up with designer Kenneth Cole to raise awareness for The Mental Health Coalition, spoke on Good Morning America about her own experiences with anxiety.
She recalled after her panic attacks started recurring, she, "finally kind of got the information that I needed about it."
"For me, I have good days and I have some really anxious days, so I'm really off and on," Kendall expressed, adding that was why she wanted to become involved with the movement. "What I hope to accomplish is for people to not feel as alone."
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Dwayne Johnson
The Black Adam actor has been open about having depression and how it can be difficult for men to talk about their mental health.
"We all go thru the sludge/shit and depression never discriminates. Took me a long time to realize it but the key is to not be afraid to open up," he wrote on Twitter. "Especially us dudes have a tendency to keep it in. You're not alone."
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Prince Harry
The Duke of Sussex helped break down some of the stigma around seeking help for mental health when, in an interview with the Telegraph, he opened up about his own journey with therapy. As he told the outlet, "The experience I have had is that once you start talking about it, you realize that actually you're part of quite a big club."
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Taraji P. Henson
Another proponent of seeking professional help, the Empire star has been open about her struggles with depression.
"I have a therapist that I speak to," she previously told Variety. "That's the only way I can get through it."
Taraji even started The Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation, which works to reduce the stigma around mental health in the African American community and also works to increase the number of Black therapists.
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Lili Reinhart
"When I was in middle school, I was struggling with severe anxiety and depression and the help and support I received from my family and a therapist saved my life," the Riverdale actress wrote on Instagram in 2017. "Asking for help is the first step. You are more precious to this world than you'll ever know."
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Kristen Bell
The Frozen star has talked for years about her strategies for coping with her mental health at public keynotes and even on her Instagram Stories.
She has advocated for finding the methods that help you best, which for her, according to Health, can include medication, listing ten positive things in her life for every negative thought and getting plenty of exercise.
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Chrissy Teigen
While the cookbook author is the proud parent to four kiddos, she's also been open about postpartum depression that many new mothers experience but feel like they cannot talk about.
"It got easier and easier to say it aloud every time," she wrote in an open letter to Glamour in 2017. "I want people to know it can happen to anybody and I don't want people who have it to feel embarrassed or to feel alone."
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Cara Delevingne
While promoting her book Mirror, Mirror, the model opened up to The Edit magazine about facing depression and suicidal thoughts as a teenager, saying she felt "something dark" in her during that time.
"I relied too much on love, too much on other people to make me happy, and I needed to learn to be happy by myself," Cara told the publication, via W. "So now I can be by myself, I can be happy. It took me a long time."
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Ariana Grande
The "Thank U, Next" artist has encouraged fans to seek help if they need, responding to a Twitter user who joked about wondering who Ariana's therapist is with, "lmaoaoo this is funny as f--k but in all honesty therapy has saved my life so many times."
"If you're afraid to ask for help, don't be," she continued. "u don't have to be in constant pain & u can process trauma. I've got a lot of work to do but it's a start to even be aware that it's possible."
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Demi Lovato
The singer has been open about her journey with addiction, sobriety, mental health and more, including many of those aspects of her life within her music.
She also continually reminds fans that working on your mental health is an ongoing process where there will be some bad days, previously writing on Instagram, "A reminder to anyone struggling out there - this life is a journey with tons of ups and downs but you can't give up."
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Zendaya
Not only has the actress taken on roles that deal with mental health, such as her role as Rue in the teen drama Euphoria, she's also addressed those issues in her own life, too.
Back in 2013, Zendaya wrote on her now-defunct app that she struggled with anxiety after an appearance on Ellen where her mic went out. She has since learned ways to manage those feelings, adding, "Sometimes you just have to take a step back so things stop stressin' you."
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Selena Gomez
The singer candidly described her mental health journey with WSJ Magazine, saying, "My highs were really high, and my lows would take me out for weeks at a time."
"I found out I do suffer from mental health issues," she shared. "I got on the right medication, and my life has been completely changed."
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Lady Gaga
The Grammy winner made it her mission to spread kindness and be open about mental health, including her own.
"I have struggled for a long time, both being public and not public about my mental health issues or my mental illness," she said during the Global Changemakers Award at Children Mending Hearts' Empathy Rocks fundraiser in 2018. "But, I truly believe that secrets keep you sick."
For free, confidential help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or visit rainn.org.

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