About six months into her last relationship, Sarah*, a 23-year-old from Australia, noticed her body was changing. She mysteriously—and rapidly—shed 11 pounds and regularly awoke with nausea or acid reflux. “My hair was thin and dry; you wouldn’t have known I had curly hair because the texture completely changed, and I had the most frustrating bumps and pimples all over my forehead,” she says.

When the relationship ended two years later, Sarah redirected her energy to self-care, which had a remarkable effect. “I would take my time washing my face or my hair, and it was like I was in a flow state. All the pimples completely disappeared a month after the breakup, my curls are back, and now I’ve never looked better or felt more confident,” she says.

It’s well documented that a souring relationship can increase your chances of anxiety, eating disorders, and emotional issues. But, like Sarah, a growing chorus of women on social media think it can make you ugly, too.

Case in point, Popular creator Snarly Carly shared a video explaining this phenomenon in TikTok parlance. (The comments speak for themselves.) Another creator, @heyitsmekmac shared the experience of her own “glow-down,” saying that, “The wrong men make you ugly. My face was broken out, the cortisol levels were high, water weight was through the roof… If he’s stressing you out, he [sic] gotta go.”

A handful of women voicing their experiences on Instagram and Reddit separately told Allure their male partner had a deleterious effect on their appearance, a notion supported by preexisting research into psychology, health and relationships. In heterosexual relationships, women who receive appearance-related criticism from their partner experience diminished self-worth and reduced relationship satisfaction, and experts point to a few different factors.

Women often process relationship stress differently than men. Psychotherapist Laurel Steinberg, PhD, says this could be due to an unequal mental and emotional load women are expected to carry in heterosexual relationships. In situations where partners live together, society often expects women to shoulder the burdens of home life and, as a result, “When the culture at home is strained, women can feel more guilt and shame than their partners, leading them to experience chronic stress and poorer health markers.” This inequity not only impacts women psychologically, but physically.

Research indicates that stress can be a key driver in cosmetic issues like acne and hair loss. Once these physical issues arise, the toll goes further than skin deep. For example, researchers found that the psychosocial impact of thinning hair is significant, provoking anxiety that is disproportionate to its “objective severity.” In other words, even if the physical impacts aren’t immediately obvious to others, women can become distressed by these changes. Generally, once the stressor (in these specific cases, the male partner) is removed, women start to feel like themselves again.