“Nobody tells you the ratio going in. If they did, half of us would quit before we started,” Emilie said. “There’s no version of this where ‘better’ always wins. This business isn’t a meritocracy. It’s alchemy, and you rarely get to see the recipe. This is the hardest part for me. No matter the work I’ve put in, the resume I’ve built, the business seems to run on ‘I don’t give a damn. Now bend down and kiss the ring.’”

Emilie continued, “’Do the work, then let it go, stop thinking about it’ is the advice we get. But we aren’t robots. Pretending the silence afterward doesn’t sit in your chest for days is ludicrous. Nobody talks about how much energy it takes to keep believing in something that more often than not responds with a ‘no.’ Maybe the problem was never how much we believed in ourselves. Maybe it’s a business that asks for that much belief and gives so little back. Even saying this much feels like breaking a rule. We’re supposed to be #grateful. #blessed. Never just tired. I’m not saying whether or not it’s worth it. I’m still here. Always believing. But also damn tired.”